I Am A Hmong Woman
This passage was my entry for the Southeast Asian-American Professionals Association Scholarship Fund in 2020. I was one of the top recipients because of this essay. When I wrote this passage, I was a young writer who was barely finding my voice in the writing world. Please don’t mind the minor errors and take it as it is, as the young writer in me, is.
From the moment I was born, I already had limitations set on me as I was born a Hmong woman. Growing up, almost all the women in my life had always told me that I should see myself lower than a man. They told me my duty as a hmong woman was to cook, clean, and learn essential things to, one day, become a good housewife to support my future husband and bear his children. As a child, I followed as I saw other women doing the same. However, as a child, I thought it was unfair for the men to be praised simply because they were born men while women were continuously scolded for not being good enough. Hurtful words such as, “You’ll never become a good housewife.” As I grew up, I realized I didn’t want to become the average Hmong daughter who just went to school and back home while having a regular education and learning how to do regular chores that everyone should already know. Instead, I wanted to become a strong, independent, and confident woman who did not waver at the fact that, in the Hmong society, women are defined by their skills to cook and clean or how great they are as a housewife.
From the moment I made that decision, I was prepared for the hardships that came along with it. I became the first daughter in the family to become rebellious because of my own thoughts and beliefs. It did not feel good to oppose my parents and grandparents because I knew that was not how they were brought up. They were raised to believe that a daughter was to obediently follow directions and give their loyalty to their husband. However, after getting tired of repeatedly being told, “You can’t do it because you’re a girl” made me say, “Watch me.” Therefore, I took advantage of every worthy and beneficial opportunity without asking for the permission of my parents. By doing so, my parents developed many doubts in me. They came to believe that they’ve failed to raise me correctly as a proper Hmong woman. Nonetheless, I persisted in my activities despite the sour feelings that I felt by doing so. Scared yet excited, I joined clubs, sports, and organizations.
Left: me as a child in a Thai princess outfit. Right: me running for teen pageant.
Edit done by my Nyab LK. Photo credits to the rightful owners.
I still remember one of the first times I rebelled against my parents. In middle school, I played on the Varsity Basketball team. My parents were very against the idea: however, after getting myself on the team and winning the Best Defensive Player of the Year, they didn’t judge my capabilities as much as before. Going to my high school years, I joined the Asian Culture Club and worked hard to become an active member during my freshman year. I became passionate about the club and decided to take an officer position during my remaining years of high school. For my sophomore and junior year, I worked hard to become Asian Culture Club’s Director of Publicity and their Dance Choreographer. Soon, I was promoted as President during my senior year. Outside of school, I was a youth leader working with 3 different non-profit organizations. These organizations were called Project Prevention Coalition, Hlub Hmoob Center, and 99 Rootz. I facilitated workshops, hosted shows, and planned movements throughout the Central Valley. I also helped other organizations, schools, and events when they were in need. I’ve performed songs, dances, and have even hosted shows for community service. As I slowly developed my self-confidence, I decided to run for a teen pageant in Fresno hosted by Central East High School’s Hmong Club. After the competition, I gained the title as Miss Hmong Central Teen 2018 and continued my community service throughout my term. I also started weightlifting and trained myself to be strong physically and mentally. I achieved a stronger mindset to strive and overcome whatever obstacle I may come across. On top of everything I was doing, I challenged myself academically and took on college courses successfully each semester. Each and everyone of these extracurricular activities built my leadership skills, communications skills, and time management skills. Although these responsibilities and hobbies that I brought upon myself were very difficult to manage, I believe I was able to prove that I am a very capable Hmong woman to my parents and others but most importantly, myself.
This picture was taken right after I won my first match ever by a pin.
In my senior year, I decided to join wrestling as it has always been a sport I was scared of. I grew up watching my brothers play and I wanted to jump in the game too.
I’m glad I did.
These extracurricular activities along with my personal goal of traveling has inspired me to become an ESL Teacher, a teacher teaching English as a Second Language Abroad. As a student, many teachers and mentors have played a huge part in helping me become who I am today. They encouraged me and inspired me to choose who I want to be without listening to what others have to say about me. When I began to become more engaged in my extracurricular activities, I just knew that I wanted to be a leader. I wanted to become a role model, someone who others could look up to and say, “Wow, I want to become like her.” Through the midst of struggling to find who I am, I questioned myself many times, “How can I guide others to achieve their dreams while traveling?” and the only career that I believed I was most qualified for was a teacher. Also, since I wanted to spend most of my future years traveling and learning more about the world, I came to the conclusion of an ESL Teacher.
My parents, grandma, and myself at the Mason Recipient Award Dinner. (Look at how proud my dad is!)
Mason Award: given to only one person in their class (8th grade) who demonstrated hard work, resilience, and all around excellency.
“...hard work and determination will lead you far in your education and in life regardless of your gender. ”
It’s always been my belief that I am not limited to whom others say I am. Through my experiences, I’ve learned that hard work and determination will lead you far in your education and in life regardless of your gender. Not only that, I realized that if I had listened to my parents and stuck to being a typical Hmong woman, I would’ve never developed all these useful skills that will help me in the long run. I am most confident now than ever. I strongly believe that I will only continue to grow and be able to achieve whatever it may be. Compared to back then, I am sure, with my strong will to succeed, I will achieve my goal as an ESL Teacher and travel the world.
The reason why this obstacle is very important to me is because I believe that if I could break my barrier of who and how I am “supposed” to be, I strongly feel anyone could do the same. Everyone deserves a chance to be acknowledged as a whole person, not dependent on their gender or sex. It is up to you to decide what you want for your life. In my case, I simply decided that I was willing to go to higher and greater lengths to achieve my true passions and that no one was to have a say in that. I am proud of myself for finding my definition of what being a Hmong woman means to me. Throughout my adventurous and tough journey till now, I’ve become stronger. Most importantly, I am happy to say that I was born a Hmong woman. For these many reasons, I believe I should be selected as a recipient of this scholarship.
Note: Thank you to my small team of scholars who helped me polished this essay. You are appreciated and I am always thinking of you.
These pictures date back to my high school days. Wrestling, youth leading, clubs, conferences, and others. As I have failed to collect every moment, here are some of my most memorable that I still keep till today. Thank you everyone who’s been a part of my journey, no matter where we all are at now.
